Your passions have been stirring about like a caged animal for the past several days. Now is the time to let them out. Some of what you express may elicit surprise or disapproval, but that's no reason not to speak up. If you don't express yourself, illness may result. Your goal should be to be true to your inner self; that's the only way, ultimately, to be happy and healthy.

I guess that means I need to get laid... how true.

Anyway, at least someone got booty last night. Boy, was that hot or what? Wow. But now I feel bad about the whole Chris/Joey/Kelly thing. That was some hot stuff too, but everything that happened later on is the definition itself of coitus interruptus. Poor Chris. Poor Joey. Poor Kelly.

And poor Brianna, that had to deal with Wade and Jup taking care of her for a while. At least Dirk was there.

Other than that, the day has been good after all. Rosa Mary found out that her best friend was apparently pregnant (she's 1 1/2 weeks late), and she was too happy for words. Everybody's seems to be getting pregnant these days. Scary. Olga's sister is having a baby GIRL. Aw. Isn't that great? Just like Betzy, whom I have to call to know what the doctor told her yesterday. Dude, I'm gonna be an aunt next week.

Tomorrow's Irma's b-day, and I called her today to invite her tomorrow to have some sushi. Of course, I didn't remember it was actually her birthday, so it all turned out good. Bought for her a Benedetti book, which I'm sure she'll like. On lunch time I also got for me The Lord of the Rings and Zucchero's Blue Sugar which I'm listening to right now. Awesome record.

I think I gotta call Eduardo to pick me up later. (pauses to call Eduardo) Done. He'll be here in an hour or so. I hope the traffic isn't that bad today... I wanna go home early to have a nice meal and then to watch lots of TV. Last friday I fell asleep watching the Queer As Folk repeat episode and I missed the new one. So I wanna know what happened, dammit! Although I've been so tired this week I fall asleep everywhere. Blame it on the gym -- Ibel was EVIL last night. Woah, everytime I breathe I can feel my abs, can you believe that? Of course, all was lost when I had a nutella ice cream for dessert today.

Duh. It's a vicious circle, I tell you.

Last, but not least, my man wrote me. Told me he'll move permanently to Fort Lauderdale because things are definitely better there than in Miami. I miss him so bad that I started to cry after I ended up reading his e-mail. I don't know how he does it, but he just stirs every single passion I have on the inside. I'm cold and hot. Just when I think he's getting over me and everything that happened, he writes the perfect thing to let me know he, indeed, loves me. And damn, I love him so much it hurts. This is too bad, I have to see him soon. I'm having withdrawals. I get more moody than the usual. But boy, when we meet again it's gonna be the fuckfest of the century.

Mr. Pinky is tired already.

Oh. TMI? j/k

Dude. I'm so damn happy I'm actually jumping on my chair. This is too good. Lance and JC are back together big time. And they're so happy you can't help but grin like a dork. They're so cute, my God. ::sighs::

By the way, I can feel my downfall coming. You see, I couldn't post to MBP if I didn't have a LJ, so I made myself one. :-D

So these two journals will end up being mirrors in content, how about that? Works for me.

And to prove that I, indeed, have a big mouth, last night I had my first Powerbike class.

All I have to say is that I've been deflowered yet again. I mean, how hard those bike seats have to be, huh? They are certainly invading for those of us who cannot stand doing a whole hour of exercise standing up. I mean, my thighs are fine, but my ass hurts. How weird is that, huh?

Anyway, to make things even worse, I'm going today to stretching. Oh yeah. I'm gonna yell in pain when Ibel screams "spread 'em even more, ladies!".

I'm a closet S&M. I can feel it.

Wow. Putting up a new layout is a lot of work. Thank God I used Kristine's lovely graphics, because I would have no hair by now. So Kristine, thanks for letting me use them. You're a doll. ::hugs::

Other than that, no news on the front, except that I learned yesterday that the guys made an Spanish version of "Gone". Woah. That's gonna sound very, very nice. :)

I leave you now because I must have lunch, and because I must drop by Must Be Pop to see what else is new on the RPG/Slashy front. :)

I leave you with CutiePie!Joey. Awww.

10-4.

I still can't believe the news about Aaliyah. How sad. :-(

Dude. Christina takes the cake today for her post. I mean, wow. I wonder what JuJu thinks... although he's been fooling around with Wade so much, I don't think he has a right to be jealous or something. And then there was the non-pregnancy episode, and there you have the ingredients for a new bond between Brit and Chrissy. Although, to be honest, I'm not that much into it, you know? It's like incest. I'd rather see Brit with someone older or dark-haired. I wonder if Madonna's still into the kinky stuff.

On the other hand, Lance and JC broke up, and I don't know if my life will ever be the same after that. I mean, they're so made for each other. But then there was the Bobbie thing at JC's b-day party, and the JoLa... not to mention the crazy Jorge. Now it seems that JC has found new friends in Jordan Knight and Tony Lucca. Which is cool -- he needs some single time. As for Lance, he's heartbroken. No, really. He doesn't know what to do now, since Joey feels bad about the JoLa, saying he's not everybody's bitch. Aw. However, Chris seems to be the one guy that's keeping the boys together. Bless him and his tree-hugging.

Man, I'm giddy -- Tony used the icons I sent him. :)

This is like, one dregree of separation from JC. Ooo.

And the man wrote a song today:

i'm walking down this road again -
still somewhere caught thinking of you.
even after, deep down, i knew that we were through.

i'm drowning in inspiration - because your kiss,
was more than bittersweet.
i'm cried out with determination - because this,
wasn't a feeling that i was ready to greet.

the sun still shines - even though you don't.
i still feed lines - even though you won't,
wanna hear the recklessness - that rages inside.
i'm craving silence, yet your voice's on my mind.

so, don't promise me forever,
cause you're already gone.
don't tell me that there's never -
been any other one.
cause i damn well know better,
then to trust you like i do...
cause i'm not caught up in memories.
i'm just caught up in you.

try to understand, when i tell you -
that you're so much more than perfect.
try to comprehend, you mean -
so much more than that.

cheap nights - in cold hotel rooms,
aren't what you're all about.
i just want to hold you -
let my frustration out.

and still you're letting go -
the best thing you ever had.
warm nights in loving arms -
my adoration you'll never know cause..

you promised me forever,
and you're already gone.
told me that there's never -
been any other one.
but i damn well know better,
then to trust you like i do...
cause i'm not caught up in memories.
i'm just caught up in you.

so, don't promise me forever,
cause you're already gone.
don't tell me that there's never -
been any other one.
cause i damn well know better,
then to love you like i do...
cause i'm not caught up in memories.
i'm just caught up in you.

And take a look at Lance. Hoo Boy.

I had never had such an epiphany of beauty and passion watching a movie before. It was all so bright and exhuberant and barroque and intense you can't help but giving in to the turmoil. Thank you, Mr. Lurhmann. ::bows::

At least I could put the comments thingy, eh? Cool.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.

Escribir, por ejemplo: «La noche está estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos.»

El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.

En las noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.

Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.

Oír la noche inmensa, más inmensa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.

Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guardarla.
La noche está estrellada y ella no está conmigo.

Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.

De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Aunque éste sea el último dolor que ella me causa,
y éstos sean los últimos versos que yo le escribo.

I leave you with this happy image, and a happy early 25 to JC. :-D

You know, sometimes I wish things were easier. I wish understanding myself was easier. I wish knowing who I am was easier. I wish I'd know how brave I can be. I wish destiny wouldn't be against me every single time. I wish loving someone wasn't so difficult. I wish things for me wouldn't have to be a big drama all the time.

Someone told me once that when you get things the hard way, it makes for better stories. But I don't want better stories, I just want things to be plain simple, and I just want to be happy and peaceful for once. I don't want to have things by the half or feeling like crying because I feel lost. I want to have things for sure. I want dream and reality wrapped up on a single package. I want to reach out, touch and hold. I don't want to breathe scents of memories. I don't know if I can be that strong for so long. I feel I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, and I don't know where to go.

I just want to say I love you without having to regret it later. Not because I don't feel it, but because I can't prove it. Not because I can't say it, but because sometimes that's not enough. And I want to believe it's enough. I want to believe those three words hold enough power to change everything, but I'm not so sure anymore. This passion, this, love, this contempt is consuming me, but I can't fool myself anymore. I only keep going half-alive, feeling the familiar tingles in my hands, but feeling only a cold breeze all around. I want to stop, but I can't seem to let go.

::sigh::

I got CELEBRITY!! I GOT CELEBRITY!!

::fans self::

Damn, it was about time. How sad is it that this delivery has been the highlight of my day? :-)

Oh, and Constance sent this pic on the newsletter. Cute. :-)

I leave you with today's phrase: "Dorky, thy name is Joey." :-p

What happened to dirtypop.nu?!??! It says the domain is for sale! What's up with that? Lindsay, where are you? ::sobs:: Somebody tell me, please... :'''(

Let's make a quick recap on the movie front. Shrek is the best damn movie of the summer so far. I'm still waiting for Tomb Raider (yummy, yummy Angelina!), A.I. and Moulin Rouge (I saw the trailer on Saturday and it gave me the chills. Amazing). Saw Planet of the Apes on Saturday, and it was eeh. Tim Roth was a downright scary Thade in there. Woah. Helena Bonham-Carter was good in there, too. Too bad I couldn't care less for the humans, you know? Mark Wahlberg may be hot and all, but the man can't express emotion if his life depended on it. Kris Kristofferson was poorly wasted in a couple lines. Michael Clarke Duncan was very, very good. Something I ended up wondering, though: what the fuck was Estella Warren doing in that movie, besides showing her ass? Puh-leeze. You could have deleted her role from the movie and it wouldn't have changed a thing. Isn't that sad? I liked the ending, though... was the only thing that made me think for two hours. At least in terms of time-travel. Oh well.

So, in brief, I'm loving Shrek very, very much.

On the music front, I'm having Celebrity withdrawals. I fucking hate Skybox, I really do. How come they haven't sent me my CD yet? I'm going on vacation on wednesday, people. I need my *NSYNC. I'm on the verge of buying it, and then selling the other copy to someone. Oh boy.

A new survey. This one's cool, actually.

1) Are you male or female?: "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed." -- Meredith Brooks, "Bitch"

2) Describe your house: "Our house it has a crowd / There's always something happening / And it's usually quite loud / Our mum she's so house-proud / Nothing ever slows her down / And a mess is not allowed." -- Madness, "Our House"

3) How do you look?: "I was told I was beautiful / But what does that mean to you? / Look into the mirror who's inside there / The one with the long hair / Same old me again today, yeah." -- TLC, "Unpretty"

4) If you could say one thing to that special someone what would it be?: "And I forgot to tell you I love you / And the night's too long and cold here without you / I grieve in my condition for I cannot find the words to say I need you so." -- Sarah McLachlan, "I Love You"

5) Where do you wish you were right now?: "Party in the city where the heat is on / All night, on the beach till the break of dawn / Welcome to Miami / Bienvenido a Miami / Bouncin' in the club where the heat is on / All night, on the beach till the break of dawn / I'm goin to Miami." -- Will Smith, "Miami" ;)

6) What do you think about your best friends?: "Chicas, amigas de siempre / Chicas de moda, chicas contra la corriente / Y sus ojos son dos naves para ver desde lo alto / Donde se respira un aire que oxigena como un canto / Y las veo caminando siempre juntas mano a mano / Sin problemas, sin dolores, son los seres más humanos." -- Zucchero, "Chicas"

7) Any words of advice?: "I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you / I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do / I believe that beauty magazines promote low esteem / I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone / I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned / I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned / I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side / I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye." -- Savage Garden, "Affirmation"

8) What do you wish you were doing right now?: "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me / I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too! / I love to hear you moralize / When I'm between your thighs / You blow me away! / Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you / I'll sit on your face and let you love me truly / Life can be fine / If we both sixty-nine / If we sit on our faces in all kind of places and play / Till we're blown away!" -- Monty Python Flying Circus, "Sit On My Face"

9) What do you think about drugs and alcohol?: "Here comes Johnny yet again / With the liquor and drugs / And the flesh machine / He's gonna do another striptease / Hey man where'd you get that lotion? / I've been hurting since I bought the gimmick / About something called love / Yeah something called love / That's like hypnotising chickens / Well I'm just a modern guy / Of corse I've had it in my ear before." -- Iggy Pop, "Lust For Life"

10) If you could say one thing to your enemy what would it be?: "Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka / You're a cock-sucking, ass-licking uncle fucka / You're an uncle fucka, yes it's true / Nobody fucks uncles quite like you." -- Terrance & Phillip, "Uncle Fucka"

11) What do you usually do on Friday nights?: "Don't grab / Don't clutch / Don't hope for too much / Don't breathe / Don't achieve / Don't grieve without leave / Don't check just balance on the fence / Don't answer / Don't ask / Don't try and make sense." -- U2, "Numb"

12) What do you think about your job?: "Everybody's always talkin' 'bout who's on top / Don't cross our path 'cause you're gonna get stomped / We ain't gonna give anybody any slack / And if you try to keep us down we're gonna come right back." -- New Kids on the Block, "Hangin' Tough"

14) How do you feel right now?: "This is my stop / Got to get off / I might go pop / Excuse me / Excuse me / I've got to be direct / If I'm wrong please correct / You're standing on my neck." -- Splendora, "You're Standing On My Neck"

15) Any closing words?: "I don't think you're ready for this jelly / 'Cause my body's too bootylicious for ya babe." -- Destiny's Child, "Bootylicious"

The first one makes me go hmmm...

WTF? Why is he wearing capris?

Okay, they don't look *bad*... in fact, he looks good, but... capri pants? Eh. I'm just not convinced. Lance looks yummeh there (watch the pecs!), and Joey dresses like me on Casual Fridays at work. :-D

Let's move on, shall we?

Aw. Cute. Bwahaha. I ::heart:: Lonnie. Tee hee. :-p

I wanna be Beyonce when I grow up. :-)

I'm worried because I'm getting seriously addicted to the Must Be Pop Livejournal Community. It's hysterical. What's more scary, the Chris' LJ sounds like him. I guess I'll hug a tree for him today. ;-)

Whoever writes Justin's must have a Ph.D in ebonics. And I LOVE Lonnie's LJ. Makes me go "awww man... be my bitch, will ya?" And Eminem has one, too.

Oh, and I'm gonna do some yoga in a couple hours. I've never gone before, but Mrs. Hannelore told me it was really cool. I'll give it a try before my Kembotai class. I feel like kicking some ass today. And I have my MACHO bands. Yay. Say MOVE, sucka! ;-)

Gotta call Meli and see if we're going to see Shrek tomorrow.

Man, am I ghetto today or what? LOL.